My ring

I was holding water weight this past week and yesterday it all let go. Less than a year ago I could not wear my wedding ring because my fingers were to fat and they were cutting off circulation. Its was very sad to me and I felt bad that I was not able to wear the rings and that I had let myself get to that point. It did not make me change though. It has taken a lot more for me to sit back and decide that I was ready to change. You would think that it would be a simple choice. That it would be clear to me to make the changes but it was not. There have been many signs for me to make changes but it just has not happened.

Over the last few years my mother has been in and out of the hospital. She has some really bad habits…some that I have and some that I do not. I do not want to live like her. She is in her early 50’s and can not work. Can not live life and really enjoy what out there. If you work all your life…raise your children and then have to spend your days going to doctors and taking medication…that’s just not the life I want….I will not be my life!

Anyways, back to my rings (I got lost in the moment…..sorry). My rings will have to come off soon. They are moving all around and I am afraid that I may lose them. I have my engagement ring “closest to my heart” because that is larger than my band and I don’t want to lose the diamond. It’s just so funny to go from one extreme to another.

Everything is getting better for me now. My clothes fit better…I can walk around without sweat pants on all the time or a jacket over me to cover my tummy (I did that a lot). I would wear a jacket all year long just to cover how big I was. I don’t know who I was trying to fool. Guess what else? I walked into the hallway yesterday while I was in the middle of changing. I don’t have a problem with my husband seeing me change. I am not embarrassed anymore. I am not perfect or where I want to be physically and I am not ready for my pictures yet…haha. But, I am getting there. Just these small things…these simple things are getting me back to my old self again. I have even noticed people checking me out…lol. If I feel like this now I know it will only get better. Look at me, I’m really changing…inside and out and I feel like a “rock star”.

I think I will end this here because I am jumping all over the place with this post. I hope you have a wonderful 4th!

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